'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
