Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
