Can Purell be used as lube?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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