Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
