Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
