i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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