i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Its about making memories worth repressing
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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