Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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