nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
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My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
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Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your penis caused this!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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