Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
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I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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