I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
