Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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