You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
