So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my sisters under your porch take her home
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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