So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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