my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
