can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
