I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
