I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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