Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
