So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
