yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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