i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
