He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
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he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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