I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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