a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
