I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
