You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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