So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're a waste of cheezeits
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
