Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
