What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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