they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
