R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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