Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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