Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
