escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
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rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
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