Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
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How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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