Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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