You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize