You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
