I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
