Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
