his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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