totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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