He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
