Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
