I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
