hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
