I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
