dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
