Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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