there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
