Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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