1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
