she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
