I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
