So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
