apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
