Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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