Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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