A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
