Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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