Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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