I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
